Underling in the Fall
Mood:  crushed out
So yesterday when I was on the phone with my boyfriend, just not really enjoying the conversation, with him either telling me how tired he is or telling me how stupid I am for not wanting to drive at 17 and prefering to just use my bike. All I think about is how I can get out of this, I hate being made fun of and him as my friend it was alright, but as a boyfriend it seems like a whole different story. But, after this thought I start thinking, what in the hell is worng with me why do I say yes, even if I really don't care for the person more than a friend? I know this when I start out, but yet, I still say yes, thinking that somehow the news that I turned my friend down would reach the real person I fell for and he would think that I was a big jerk, but then after I give in and say "yes", I realize that me saying a simple "no" would have probably smoothed over better than breaking up.
I don't get it why must this be so difficult? I mean why don't I just go up to the person I like and ask them to coffee (or yogurt either way, eh?). I know that I am bitching, but I don't know I just am a bit shy in person and I wish I could get over it, has anyone else had this problem, boyfriend, friens with the person your really enjoy,and not being able to tell the person I like that I really enjoy them.